Worth the Pricetag

As millions of willing and able citizens are finding, especially here in the United States, the job market is about as fun to navigate as a cobra pit lined with bear traps and grenade bouquets. What's the issue? Knowing me by now, you should expect my response to this question to be: people are too busy making more people to notice the strain they're putting on the rest of us.

I won't say much more on this topic, because if I haven't convinced you yet, it's hopeless to go much further. However, I imagine that if you're among the population who stupidly think population is something that should continue to grow, you'd like to argue the following:

With newborn babies come work possibilities, including prenatal care, baby supply manufacturing, maternity classes, nannies and midwives, pre- and primary education, et cetera, et cetera...

...et fucking cetera. Stop and think for a moment. If you had to lay a percentage upon the number of people you know who actually work in any of the above-listed fields, what sort of range would you be looking at? Exclude people you know strictly because they are in that line of work, so don't count any of the doctors or nurses you met because you or a loved one decided to have children.

Right now you're probably realizing (if you don't happen to work in healthcare or a nursery) that your ratio is quite small. So how many people would be out of a job if about 1000 brave individuals Volunteered to make baby-making off-limits permanently? Very, very few, I assure you, and yet it would make feeding approximately 1500 existing people a lot easier. Considering there are nearly seven billion people walking or crawling this earth, I don't think 1000 people is very much to ask for.

Now, there are obviously other problems with today's job market, or more specifically our economy. You can blame whoever you want - donkeys, elephants, some strange hybrid of the two - but sitting at home watching your favorite "non-partisan" news network isn't going to lower our deficit. While I don't have any real answers on how to fix our country's money problems, I do know that pretending it'll all clear itself up eventually doesn't help to clear up anything. In any case, one could probably assume with relative security that our economy would improve if more people were working instead of munching away at government cheese. Bigger income equals bigger (hopefully responsible) spending, which allows bigger funds to pool for smaller hiring gaps. Of course the income starts with a job.

So how do you get a job? For some it's as easy as turning in an application at a fast food or retail chain, lucking into a formality interview, and finally a minimum-wage employment agreement. For others, it's a matter of scattering resumés like Johnny's apple seeds, chasing down executives outside Starbucks, follow-up calls to follow-up a follow-up call, the occasional interview that lasts a few minutes and ends with "we've already filled the position," and a hefty dry-cleaning bill by the end of the week.

Oh, and a college degree fits in there somewhere.

Knowing that times are tough, I'm sure it comes as no surprise when I say that college graduates are finding it more and more difficult to find jobs in today's economy. This hardly seems fair after they've been promised an additional $1 million in lifetime income as a direct result of their degree. It seems every day hundreds of homes are put on the market as foreclosures as people (often honest, but just as often irresponsible) default on their mortgages and declare bankruptcy. The bank takes a substantial hit for each foreclosure they are left to sell at a fraction of its appraisal value, which affects the value of the dollar that once bought a couple of gallons of gas. Regardless, with the sale of their home, bankruptees are now without their mortgage and free to start over building their credit.

Mortgages are, naturally, different from student loans. With a mortgage, there is security, or collateral that the bank can threaten to seize should you ever stop making your payments. (Hey, it's better than vital organs, right?) With a student loan, there is nothing a lender can take from you aside from a certain percentage of your paycheck if you decide to stop sending money willfully. This is why, even in bankruptcy, you are still obligated to pay your student loan debt.

Thankfully, there are hundreds of programs available for loan repayment, even forgiveness and cancellation if you look in the right places. Usually these programs require volunteering for a year or more, receiving only a stipend and a grant at the end of it all for educational purposes (unlike 529 funds, this money can be used to pay off student loans). While the stipend generally isn't much - you're volunteering after all - it's enough to live by if you don't have a laundry list of expenses to deal with. Usually the hours you work would leave time for a second part-time job as well. Unfortunately, the end-of-contract grant is never more than $6k as far as I've seen, which for some won't even cover a semester of student loans. Even volunteering four years of your life to the Peace Corps will only wipe away 70% of your student debt.

And everyone knows that a degree does not guarantee employment. Either your degree overqualifies you for the job, or your lack of experience (having just graduated and all) underqualifies you. So if you're still working the same part-time shifts you held down in high school, how do you expect to pay the $60,000+ you owe to Wells Fargo? Er, I mean the Department of Education? I mean...Nelnet?

Oh yes. As if it wasn't hard enough just making enough money to write a check every month, now you have to deal with the confusion of where the fuck to send it. A few years ago, the Department of Education bought up a huge package of student loans, only to sell them off not long after. Nelnet, one of the most infamous student loan servicers out there, is likely now the sole owner of your ass, thanks to our federal government. Nelnet is known for taking payments when not necessary, sending statements claiming thousands remaining on a loan that should have been paid off months or even years before, separating loans out into several monthly statements instead of consolidating them into one like they claim to do, and generally making it impossible to speak with anyone who has a fucking clue how this god-forsaken system works. Oh, and they're thieves.

And now they're phasing out paper statements, making it almost mandatory to provide automatic clearing house information, which means they have instant access to your checking account, whether you want them to or not. So never mind they can claim the authority to pull what they want from your bi-monthly income check should they deem it necessary, now they can just reach directly into your pocket and take, take, take. I've read and heard about lenders and loan servicers (not just Nelnet) who continue to draw on checking accounts long after a loan has been paid, and sometimes long after the borrower has called to demand that it stop.

OK, let's step back for a moment. Fast forward two or three years after college. You have your degree, you have the job you ran all over town for, and you just became engaged and bought a house with your sweetie. So you've got decent income. Not what you thought you'd be making, but enough to get by. You still have a substantial balance remaining on your student loans, and now you have a mortgage and a wedding to deal with. Oh, and it turns out the house you bought is in need of some repairs, but because of some oversight it was never squared away on your purchase contract. Before you've even moved the first truckload, you and your betrothed are beginning to wonder if you've made the right decisions.

Maybe somewhere down the line you'll look back on a few years of hardship with a crooked smile. Maybe you can hope for a future where you're content, if not happy, with the choices you made as a young adult. Maybe, maybe.

Maybe it's the pessimist in me talking, or maybe it's about time we stop relying on maybes to come true and start educating ourselves and each other on how to avoid economic crises. It has been a failure of my parents, my education, and myself to teach me why money is everything, especially if you want that truth to die off at any point in your life. Surround yourself with the material world when and while you are able, so that the other side of things can come easier.

I want to travel the world living on nothing but a few bucks a day. Unfortunately, I realized this too late, and my dreams have just been offset, probably for good. If I could get a do-over, I'd tell the idiots who tried to convince me that money is a tertiary matter to stop lying to me and tell me the best way to earn income as a preteen. I should have cared a long time ago. I'm certainly paying for my mistakes now - with interest.